|| left alone. *||

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Part1: Is it a crime?

Written on 6/9/2008

Is being shy, or pai seh a crime? So sever that not a single !@#$%^&*()_+ chance is given? Of course it was given, after it was over that is. So what's the use? It was too late already, and you had to sadden me more.

It happened awhile ago... The feelings aren't the same... But I'll give you an idea about how it went.. I finished playing my computer that evening, went to have dinner at some place.. Looking forward to some great fun... With This guy, currently called A. A and his friends were already playing when I got there... I had my dinner and sat on the sofa as I waited for them to play with me. I waited, they finished and then ate a long dinner. They were finally ready, and I was like YAY!(Or so I thought) and then I wanted to play. But lol, due to my shyness, anti-socialness, whatever, and I didn't dare to. But the reaction was, instead of like asking me properly, or comforting me, after all tehy're big, scary people, he said if you're shy or pai seh, don't play.If you're not, come and play. Hearing that, I just went angry at him and I said my head of course, yes I'm shy, I'm not allowed to play! And he went off, No chance. They continued playing happily, the second round.I sat in the kitchen, away from there, continuosly drinking a cup of water.As I just thought and though in my head, A's mum tried to help me, the wrong way.He did nothing wrong at all, at least that's what I told her. Then she told me, in fact threaten, that I either tell her what was wrong or she wull go and scold him for no apparent reason. I kept silent and she went out to confront him. Feeling worst, I ran into the toilet and hid there. They had a big talk, or fight, and I felt it was my fault. Now I don't even dare to walk out, or face them anymore. All thanks to his mum. Not only that, he then came in thinking that I asked his mum to scold him, and said hurtful words on the 2nd choice, like are you ____ and ___ or are you ___ and ___?, forcing me to choose the first choice, as if I'm a kid and would fall for that and at a ten minutes countdown to my existence at his house. I hated him for like threatening me, so I chose the second option several times and I asked him to go and enjoy himself and I didn't want to and to leave me alone. I stayed there crying with my head facing down on the table. They all started to leave at 10. Then one of his friends asked him a question I'm not sure of what it was, but he said I always like that. Then his friend asked him another question and he said not once, but many times. I'm sure he wanted me to be like that all the time, right? Because if he didn't he wouldn't say such hurtful things that I would be forever like that. He even thought I was trying to get attention and want people to pity me, but what I wanted most, was for all of them to leave me alone!
What I meant by that, was that you guys are making it worse by what you think is helping. I'm no longer a kid, I stand up for my rights now.
And you guys, are helping the wrong way.

always waiting. -11:16 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

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