|| left alone. *||

Friday, July 31, 2009

Counsel night... damitz.

It was like so boring... with no more dota, no more frenz. i asked klins out to slack with me, we walked, and i tink i fit too much into his brain, we talked about matured stuff.. ahem... all the way to supernatural stuff all the way to our love life and studies. And I thought he was a strong guy, i thought he was a true chrisitian, i tot he understood. But I was wrong, he burst at my house. Couldnt take in wad i say, tried to end his life, maybe he wanted to, maybe not but i couldnt take the risk. I just told him man, alot of stuff. hes thinkin to simple. Sucide, is goin against god's will, he tinks hell hav peace after he die? Hell hav 100x the pain, which is eternal, i told him tht. but if he picekd himself up at least he could still turn things arnd. Thn he asked me y do i care, hes nt worth and all those self-esteem issues. I told him u were my friend, and im partly the cause of it, and yea its partly my responsibility. So i stopped him from leaving my house. Hes a psycho, i tink hes mentally unstable, he enjoyed watching the happy tree friends, he told me enjoy seeing ppl getting killed, slaughtered and tortured. I cant believe it man, i srsly tink he has mental problems, if i had known, i wouldve nt helped him chase claire, which he failed and cant get his mind off. Thrs so many thing, it seems so bad. if u tink simple ull tink i wan to, but i cant get it off. actually, its just u nt wantin to get it off. Nothing can actually do anything to u except urself. He just wouldnt listen, but hes complaining so much, just like asking a question and nt wantin to hear the answer. just like, u hav a choice of 5 dollars or 10 dollars, either 1 u take, life is still the same. Which will u take? this process took really long, i can tell hes very very confused just like I used to be, unable to explain alot of things, ask him read the brain is difficult tht thing he dwan. I srsly tink he will nt suicide, but i just wanna let him knw ppl care for him, he tinks no one does. If really u convince someone tht u wanna die, tht person, even ur greatest enemy from ur class, will stop u.

About the ghost part, i was just saying everything was planned and itll happen whn its supposed to be. But its best not to meddle with such things becuz once u start, u cant stop. But with the faith, trust, u wont be harmed if ur nt meant to be harmed.

So yea, tht concludes my day...

Jesus first
Others second
Yourself last

(Big chunks, will get my blog fixed soon)

always waiting. -11:53 PM

31/7/09

My life destroyed on that day :D I've quit on two things, practically bout 2 halves of my world.

Was it my fault?
1 half- Was it my fault? U insulted me, just after a joke. U insulted me, for a thing, which u do more thn me. I guess i'll quit, i've lost it anyway. Im quittin fer gd this time, its deleted. no more memories.

2nd half- Still my fault?
Teacher release me 30mins late, scold me. yea my faultz. go down, script wh take, oso scold me. or wadeva u wanna call it, so i just sat thr. Thn we discuss wad? oso gt nuthin to discuss rightz? so yea wadeva. Thn u all ask me faster DO WAD? yeaz. go back to my ashley, wad emo guy, wad go and sleep. ive had it man, i wont be treated like filth for any reason. I wan peace, u made it war. fer ur info, ive given up, a long time. idc manzxc. U ask me go sleep, i go sleep. kena scold agn, im nt ur toy. u ask me come back, i wont, we no script, i come back let u insult more be4 goin home? tell u to sms me or call me whn u get the script, u disown me. wellz, gd luck. i knw im nt gd, but ur no betta.

always waiting. -6:22 PM

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

mehk....ansm?

meh. mehk...... mehk mehk mehkansm. Word of the day? O O. I just gt miserified. Half of the world has been destroyed, i seek refuge in the other half. And I ended up destroying it to.. Whr the f i go now? Im feeling horrible right now for god knws wad reason.... its unexplainablishlyficatedsistically hard to explain. O O. bleh bleh bleh... so it was like. wth.. wth? the one person whose mind is so hard to read caught me. Caught me like a fish on a hook, leading to nowhere. Cant get it off, the fisher aint getting me either. No actions, just stuck. Pretty much, just STUCK. she's killin me. tears... T-T

always waiting. -9:38 PM

Friday, July 24, 2009

Yes?

you said yes
I thought I knew what it meant,
and I did
But I daren't get my hopes high
I've regretted the last time I've tried it
The answer was out clear to me so late, why?
I have no idea what to do right now
Judging from circumstances,
it seems impossible.
But I will hang on,
till I regain my faith from my previous
failed attempt.

Why am I a dota freak? Becuz ppl tink i am. So wad if i play it alot, i just choose it over something else more boring. I still make time for LIFE. I have a life, and i knw it. im nt a freakin DOTA FREAK. = =

Today was boring... just listened to music in class agn... and thn some ppl wrestled on my table and thn half the class came in to challenge and watch and talk crap. Poor table = =

Overview? idc.

always waiting. -4:20 PM

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

System shutdown~

System shutdown. Feelings are so freakin hard to uncover, so much to discover, so much to learn. So special... So special everyone has a book of memories, storing their memories, thoughts, feelings which are partly unaccessible to others, and other part unaccessible to the owner itself. And ur to live not knwing the reason, which is stored somewhere in the book, live in pain, cuz u dunno wads happening, agn in the book. Everyday's journal is added automatically, and if not shared, pretty much lost, somewhr in the book, unaccessible. Some of this are important, but u dunno, or cant share thm, makes it a must to be stored unavailable to no one. Something important, something u hold dearly. Its as mysterious as feelings itself... Mood swings are just for mental people that do not know wad to feel at the time, feeling depressed and no idea wad to cheer thm up, or just for the sake of nt caring about other things and just have fun. It aint only my plight, but to many as wellz. They only want to be understood, and ask questions, but its unavailable, becuz ppl tink theyre crazy. Its normal for ppl to tink theyre crazy, becuz ppl tht are nt crazy dun look deep, unless they can take things well, with help. Help from the right people. People look only at the surface of wad depression means, probably science comes in, but the world isnt small. Not only science plays a part. Some things are not explainable in science. Its something built in, but forsaken. Its cruel. Cruel indeed.

always waiting. -7:02 PM

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

HI BYE!
Updated :D
Ilovebrotherverymuch :D
Melissa here :D

always waiting. -7:48 PM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

WHY THE FCUK..... ARGH.... the fcking pain is unbearable... Its killing me... Have I been strong enuff? Why'd u do tht... Why... Its always me isnt it, its just me. Every time, I've pursued the wrong dream.. And it kills. And I'm afraid... U nver knw whn it strikes. DotA is my painkiller... but how long can it last? Its enuff... Its time to face it.

always waiting. -7:43 AM

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hello! :D
I'm Yongsheng's lil sister here.
He's lazy to blog anyway -.-
Just like me.
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Melissa, a good girl.
Maybe the most guai-est girl you people ever came across.
Today he slacked at home.
Then Idk alrdy lah lol.
I'm going to meddle with his templates.

Wahahaha!
Bye peeps!

always waiting. -9:47 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

the forgotten memories.

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
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August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
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January 2011
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March 2012
May 2014
June 2015

the music in my veins.

the roads that lead away.

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