Friday, January 22, 2010

'Recent case which hit Thailand'

Many Singaporeans probably don't know, but I think that number has been banned.

What number? The number was...., as I was told, 111....o. Indeed. Weird. Who made that call? Most probably a bomoh. His voice was described as chanting something, after being picked up by a Singaporean who put the phone down upon not understanding what he's saying. He saved his life.

What actually happens, if you actually hear more of it? It is said, that you can't put the phone down and blood will come out of everywhere. Bitter death, yes.

Sometimes, I feel that the teachers are treating us "wrongly", in the wrong level of education. This mostly happens during my strength's lessons, such as IT and Math. But we cant really blame thm, the average ppl learn alot from their lessons. Was it really a wrong choice into ADSS?

Back-ed to maple, no idea why. Somehow, Aran was gay enough to make me come back. 2.5k for triple swing at level 30? 4k damage at level 45? No way.

I've got quite a bit of aims this weekend, probably, won't play much =/ Ask ant for a complete list =]

always waiting. -8:20 PM

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Today sucked. This morning I got up only to face the wrath of my mum. I just don't get her, so much for the stories of how she was properly brought up. I finally understood why my sister went away, no, I understood long ago. But my sister just isn't patient enough like me. Not patient enough like my dad.

My life rocks? no. The fact that you have a mum that is always right sucks. Nothing ever gets into her, and she thinks that nothing ever gets into us.

This morning. Woke up. Got "shouted" at. fine.

Asked my aunt to call the Sembawang CC, she "shouted" again. fine.

Wore short pants. Got "shouted" at again. fine.

I haven't said anything yet.

I spent a little time wetting my hair down. Got "shouted" at again. (As if she spent a much shorter time doing her stuff) fine.

She said, if she could give birth, she wouldn't give birth to someone like me, or my sister. She said we didn't respect her, didn't listen to her.

The fact that I obeyed everything above this, made me feel really, angry inside. Does she even give respect to others in the first place. Once she's set her mind on it, she'll definitely be right, unless its really so simple like a square is a square, straight forward, no doubt. She's probably in her own world. Logic can't get to her, and she thinks "logic" can't get into us. HER logic.

No, but I didn't say anything. Just kept it in.

Where's your bible? Did you bring your phone, etc?
No.
Why?
Silent.(Because you were shouting at me to hurry up.)

Come to church how can be so unhappy?
silent. (How can I be happy when I've kept all those words inside me, speak for yourself. Whole morning so angry, shout shout shout.)

Why didn't I say all those?
Because if I did, everyone will be unhappy, she will have a worse impression of me, and the main thing. She won't learn anything.

But then again, the sermons never fail to reach me. Another interesting one today. The pastor seemed a little racist, but then, he actually took time to think for others. I would remove him from that racist category.

************************* Definitions **************************
1. us - refers to actually, everybody. But mostly, just our family.
2. "shouting" - refers to actually harsh tone said in a low volume, usually when scolding someone in public, scared others will hear.

always waiting. -11:00 AM

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I've set my mind on something. Didn't realise you were such a bastard.

I feel guilty, having created this thing for you, and seeming heartless. But then again, I think its beneficial for both of us. I'm sorry.

I notice more than I usually should.

always waiting. -7:57 PM

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Shatter

I'm feeling rather disgusted, angry and sad. Why? I dont know. Not that I care about that. Probably, my default emotion, has changed.

I dunno how, but since Lights period this afternoon, I haven't been feeling well. Everything just seemed like flashes past me, I was just twirling around, in my vast aquarium of memories. Somehow, everything was in control, everything, was understood. Its always the same. Maybe I'm just a psycho, instead of wanting something good, to be in control, I'd rather be the one that's harmed, the one that's mistreated. Now then again, that's probably because I want people to regret their actions, their heart living eternally in hell.

Yes, psychotic isn't it? Sometimes, I think I can't take it. That's the main reason, I can't be counseled.

I'm a complete failure. Its just the basics of things, why, why am I so afraid. I've been doing things way too silently. Who'd gimme the courage, and the confidence. Haha, no one. I've decided, to ever stay this way, until the end of time. Cuz, it isnt possible, at least not anymore.

always waiting. -6:00 PM

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I have no idea now. What am I gonna do? Tell me... No, you can't tell me. Cuz u dontch knw. We'll leave that to fate. I've still got a long way.

Anyway, had 4 hours of rest today. That sucked. Woke up again at 8, it was another wedding.

Got a lot of things to do now. I guess I'll just have to push non-homework things to another day..

always waiting. -5:52 PM

Saturday, January 9, 2010

After a 4 hours sleep, I woke up at 8.45am today. Went to school, slacked and deco-ed the class. After which we went to have lunch and CWP to settle a lot of stuffs i wanted to settle in a long time. Went to the library aft tht to read some books be4 heading home. Today was super, meeting day. For the simple reason that I kept running into people I knew.

Next off, after a little rest, I went off to this so called church. No it wasn't a church. Instead, it was a concert that was held by christians, trying to spread the love. Anyway, we left early. Wouldn't say its very early though.

Much more stuff probably happened, but thts for me to knw, and for you to find out.

always waiting. -11:02 PM

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Today was, a day. We finally met our El Lit Cher, History cher, and IT cher. History cher was the best, made you laugh at least every 5 minute. Serious and fun. A* Anyway it was CCA open house. I slacked, duh. Had fun. Seniors are always fun. No hot stuff in Sec 1. Anywayz, I'll keep it short cause today's a busy day.

always waiting. -5:51 PM

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I was exhilarated when I heard there was a talk for parents, to understand their kids. But then, I returned to a frown. I realised, that, parents, only listen to adults. No, not children, adults. My dad is an exception. Anyway lets continue.

Firstly, the talks would be inaccurate, because CHILDREN, will NEVER, open up FULLY, to adults. Unless, the child feels that the adult can take the truth above kids, behind each and every thing in their life, the threats, the comfort, the normal actions and stuff.

Secondly, there's no second. Want to hear a kid's life? Fat hope. I'm not gonna share.

As usual, I've reached the quote "Life is unfair" in my discussions today. It can only be considered fair, unless you look at it, the way you should. But, no one really does that. For those that think its fair, grow a brain. No, I meant the other way that you shouldn't look at it. If you've looked at it the way you should, and find it fair, good for you.

Relationships. What are they? They're a form of bonding in between two objects or living beings. There are many classifications, but we'll move on to boy-girl likeness and love. Now how'd you tell you like someone? Like should practically be the starting of something. Good or bad. If you like someone, you should be able to answer," What do you like about this person". List down the points. Now double-check with what you really like. Do they match? Yes? Congratulations. Wait, but that's not all.

Love. How'd you be able to tell you love someone? First off, you'd care more about his/her happiness instead of your own. This includes fully trusting your mate, even though he/she might be cheating on you. If you feel bad, or really sad and want to get rid of her, that's infatuation. As long as he or she is happy, you'd be able to feel good. After all, she's happy.

Next, you'd be willing to die for that person. What I meant was, jump off a building just because he/she tells you to. That would be pointless. So what if you've proven your love? That person would just be so sad to have lost you, or don't even care. Now, you wouldn't want that, so that's pointless. What I meant was, In examples of situations where only one of you get to live. You get my point.

Next off, What is Avatar? Its just a guy getting addicted to a game till he forgets who he is, surrounded by hateful blue people and impossible animals. NO. I know you hate blue people but NO, that's not the story.(You can say I'm directing this to Mr Soh)

What is Avatar then? Its a story of a place, I can't remember whether its a location on Earth or another planet. But either way, its another world. The director created these creatures, based on Science facts, making it a realistic fantasy. He created this language, using 4 years? Or so I've heard. This film also requires very advanced technology for the movement of the Nadi people, expressions. Okay, enough of the effort put in. What my point was, he created a world that was a fantasy, but very easy to believe that it can happen. What the main character was doing, wasn't playing a high-tech "game". It wouldn't be a game. Real lives are concerned. It wasn't a war for survival, it was a war for riches on one end, and a war for defending their home on the other end. Now reaching this point, would you support the selfish people that care for riches and not about other people's home? Or would you rather support the people that wanted to defend their home, that had special networks running through the forest, as though it was alive. It wasn't a normal place, I can't describe it either. But then, it was special to the people. Would you want your house to be destroyed just because it had lots of gold underneath? The main character went on to his "game character" to defend the people, just like animals losing their homes to deforestation. That was the awesomeness of the story. This would be too vague, you'll have to watch it for yourself.

Now, that was one big chunk, wasn't it? Now let's go on to the next topic. Why am I so good in my studies? Frankly, my studies are not considered good. If you think some people are stupid to say that even though they 're doing so good, its just because they've decided to compare to better results. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank My Aunt, Jane, who's been tutoring me when I was younger. She's one of the key people I actually needed to get up to this point in time. I as young then, I thought she was just too harsh. Maybe the studying conditions weren't really there, but I'd really want to thank her for the efforts. For tutoring us for free, taking time off her busy schedule.

Next. I'd start off with my understanding abilities, the ability to grasp what the teacher says in class. It just requires a lot of thinking, pretty much what I do every day, tired or wide awake, free or not. Thinking, no idea, probably a hobby, but from the simplest of things, to the most complicated of things. Apart from that, I tend to look deep down into stuff. Even the most shallow pool. You'd never get it anyway, or, you'd think its not possible. Welcome to my world.

Then, I'll go on to my foundation. I had a strong foundation. My aunt guided me well. And overwhelming support was offered when I had trouble. Look for support, I'm sure many people are willing.

Personality. People have the strangest of personalities, to the most profound one. I for one, also think that mood is a factor. From experience, I think anger can cause you to treat people indifferently, also tiredness. But then again, there's always a base personality. Some kind of people, can't admit defeat, and settle it with fists. I wouldn't say that's wrong, but the fact that you're pushing your weight around and the police can't do anything makes it a threat. To smaller, better people. I'm not referring to anyone, its just a group. No idea why I started this topic.

There are countless of people that need to grow up. But then again, it sounds rude. I wouldn't list them out for the reason I've just stated. But then again, if you need to grow up, you need to grow up. I wouldn't say so for mself I've fully grown, I've been fooled by myself countless of times.

Just finding random topics now...

I can't seem to be able to relate to my friends, I feel a lot different. I'm a free guy, and I respect my parents for giving me that. But the stuff I do, the ... stuff, I do.. are just not normal for a kid like me. If you've think you've done it too, how can it be not normal, or if you actually think I'm boasting, then look around you. How many people does what you AND I do. It would basically be programming stuff using some languages, what's so great about that. What keeps me going on would be the reputation, the famous people around there, I want to be ike them someday, someone that can help others, respected, in the adults world, not cause you're an adult, but because you have a point, you have a talent, you've got the good stuffs.

Onling. Why do people like to go online and live their world there? At least for people like me. the reason is really simple. You don't get treated based on whether you're a kid or not, but based on whether you've got what it takes. I'd say its for people that know they can do better, they can be treated better, they can get respect. Not just people that have no life, some crazy game-freak.

"What can inspire you to greatness if nothing less will do?" At least that's what I remembered. I didn't know the answer at that moment. But I guess, its just cause I have to, its just, the basic thing of everybody. They all want good results. I guess, so do I. Nobody works towards the down side.

Trust. You'd trust your real friends no matter how bad it can seem. Something impossible, or something that sounds very untrue. Believe them. I don't mean ridiculous things. When you have to choose to trust or not, there's always a situation. A situation. A situation that that your friend is facing. I'd say trust that person, that friend. Because if you don't that friend will be seriously disappointed. If your hypothesis is wrong,(The hypothesis is what you think is the real thing/happened so you don't trustyour friend) it'll hurt your friend. You'll be in the wrong. You won't be jailed, picked out, but you've betrayed and proven that you can't be a good trustworthy friend. However, if you have chosen to believe. Whether that person is lying or not, as long as you treated him/her truly, you'll be okay. On the other hand, I suppose you wouldn't be so bad at choice of friends, so if they have a conscience, they'd come clean. Or at least feel bad about it. Give them a second chance. You've helped a person. Its pretty vague, but its just, a vague, as I said, rough explanation.

Money. Money DOES NOT make the World go round.
Q: Money buys friends.
A: Money buys people that want your money.
Q: Money gets you everything you want.
A: Money doesn't get you your life. In other words, money can't buy God over.
Q: Money looks so beautiful.
A: There are lots of much more beautiful things.
Q: Money gets me branded stuff.
A: Branded stuff are not everything. Durable and comfortable are much more important.
Q: Money makes people like you, they make you cool.
A: Money makes people like your money, having a beautiful heart is way better than being cool.

I'm not asking you to throw all your money away, just don't do stupid, once in a life chance stuff such as stealing to get it. Money destroys life. Which pretty much leads indirectly to the World being unfair. You probably won't get me.

I have so much to go on, but I'm pretty much blank over here. I think, we'll call it a day. If you actually read all the way, I'd like to thank you. It probably took you awhile.

Lastly, I'm looking for a not lazy jogging buddy. No speed requirements, really.

always waiting. -5:30 PM

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

My birthday.

For someone that says up late, I'm feeling pretty tired right now. Wondering how'd I get my 5 pictures for my assignment dued tomorrow. Its 9.20pm. Procrastinating again, for the second day. Wondering how I'll ever get a B4 for chinese. My birthday sucked today. It was worse than any other day. Well, I can't say everything was bad. Somehow, people I mix around with, just aren't my type of friends. What I do, specialize in, are just bullshit to my friends, it seemed like, I was just another normal guy, pushed around, just some average guy. Why do I feel so bad about that, probably cause I haven't felt normal for a long time. After taking for granted what the Lord has given me. I think its finally time, to put good use, to this good brain, these good limbs. Still, I've been world editing for awhile. Finally got my reputation above 100. Got some special functions. Then again, it feels like I'm working for nothing, this knowledge, seems pointless. I'd probably have it taken away from me, so that I wouldn't even think about it, do what other kids do, be normal. Be a geek, study hard, drive a mercedes, earn some money. That seemed pointless. Somehow, chinese class is much better. Still can't get this laziness away. Looking for a buddy, but now a days. Who'd care? Everybody just minds their own business. Why'd I get to grow up in good classes. Where everyone is just, freaking, controlled. Is it really that bad, what we're living? Really weird way stuff moves around, goes around, works around. Many people probably wouldn't read this chunk of words, I wouldn't. I have no idea what I'm typing this for. Who'd take the time to care. Everyone's so busy. The one who'd wouldn't require me to type this. Why am I typing this? Walked around my ex-school some day. I was just thinking, about those times. Those, fun times. What has the world become to, competition everywhere. Fighting for survival, fighting for selfishness. Pointless stuff happening all over. Crap. Word of the month would be Harsh. What's so special about one's birthday anyway. What's so special about the age. What's so special about ranking in the black world. What's so special. Why, are kids treated as kids. What if they're right? No he can't be, he's a 13 year old! What does he know? For someone that thinks a lot even his brain is half dead, you oughta pay attention. He's a brainiac? Holy crap! We'll listen to him. How'd people find out brainiacs anyway? Never, unless its by a lot. Welcome to Earth. First rule, you have to be selfish to survive. Second rule, you have to die because you're selfish. I just made that up, but I don't think there's much difference. All in all, I always change topics. But then again, who wouldn't, who wouldn't blog about what they wanna blog about. Who wouldn't talk about the peaks and downs of their life. Who'd really understand. Everybody says nobody understands them. I find it quite true. The brain isn't really very easy to crack. Speaking of that, I'm wondering how I'd get my thermometer. I was so determined, so eager, but at the end of the day, still thorn to shreds. If you could stare, what would you stare at? And don't tell me you can stare, because you can't. It'll forever for you to find out what that means, IF there's a you.

P.S. 0.00001% of my story is told.

always waiting. -9:20 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

the forgotten memories.

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
March 2012
May 2014
June 2015

the music in my veins.

the roads that lead away.

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