|| left alone. *||

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Pain

I took this time off, to discuss about this topic called, Pain. Apart from that, we'll talk about how this guy takes it.

Ill keep it anonymous as to who this guy is, but i tink itll be pretty obvious.

PAIN

I figured out, pain would be something that actually hurts u. No matter to what extent, maybe a slight cut on ur finger, maybe u lost ur favourite key chain, maybe u gt hit by a car, maybe ur parents died. But wad i would really wanna talk about would be the extent. We'll skip the small ones for now, or forever, as theyre pretty much just, small stuff... So, we come to big extent.

Now, any views on this? What would a lot of hurt be? Parent problems, bullying, etc. Maybe if u grew up and looked at how the world is, itd be another big extent of pain. If u knw wad i mean. So, how would ppl have these problems react? I wouldnt say tht they're crazy, but i tink they would do little things to distract thm from the bigger thing. Namely, self-mutilation, and or some emotional breakdowns, bigger temper, and fears/phobia.

We'll talk about what are big extents of pain. Further going on, big extents are some tht can actually make u feel like disappearing, or attempt to, make u just wanna, u knw explode or smth. Some, would be able to cause disorder, or if felt by strong ppl, i would say, theyll be able to go to the Lord for help, and just, feel happy, no matter wad kind of sadness theyre in.

It MAY cause ppl to go crazy, but somehow, i dun tink as an average, tht ppl tht are emo or feel pain are actually crazy. Also, it probably cause it to be the main thing of their lifes, like how they cant forget it or dread it coming agn.

Ok enough of tht, lets talk bout this "guy". He said he goes thru pain, everyday, try to write some journal or smth to put it out. Maybe, but i see him at sch everyday, so fcking happy, always joking around the girls. The best part, he cant stop laughing. Thr are 2 possibilities, either the pain he feel is too lil to actually let him feel it, or hes just so good at hiding it. I doubt tht. Ppl in pain, cut themselves to distract thm away from the pain, they hurt thmselves to distract thmself away from the pain. But this "guy", he cuts himself and spreads it to the whole world so tht ppl will pity him. And if meet at head on, hell just say i dun wan pity, i dunnid it.

Moving on. Ppl in pain, dun really wan ppl to knw about it. Why? becuz its pretty useless to explain, becuz its un-understandable. If its actually counselable, it wouldnt be considered a big extent. Unless tht person is strong. This guy goes around telling ppl more about it thn to actually try to overcome this, i mean who wouldnt wan to overcome pain if theyre in 1. Its like omg if i stand here ill get hit by the axe. I got hit by the axe once already and it hurts. Ok ill stay here and get hit agn. wth? It wouldnt be considered pain already becuz U LIKE IT. And if u do, uve just gt a psychological problem.

End of discussion.

always waiting. -8:33 PM

He assures happiness forever. He would lift me up, if I ever would fall down. I was just foolish enough to not seek it because I thought someday, it'll be taken away from me.

always waiting. -5:32 PM

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ha, im blogging agn.

I would just stare at the screen, for lets say 5 - 7 more hours. Tht is, if time allows. And after, maybe go running around school, for about 3 - 4 hours. After tht, maybe ill just go to the basketball court, lie under the burning sun, on the deserted area for 6 - 8 hours. After tht, ill lie down on a patch of grass, and stare at the sky for another 11 - 12 hours. Thtll be, more thn a day. Howd time permit tht.

And aft all tht, ill probably get 1 line of what i really wan to say, or maybe express. Thrd be million more lines or so, but probably 75% of thm cant be shared. Thts becuz the world is cruel. And if u cant survive, ull just lose out. ull just, die. I dun wanna die, dun mean physically. i dun wanna die. I, dun wanna die.

So right now, no matter how im feeling, no matter how i felt, no matter how i will feel, i guess a smile will suffice. :)

always waiting. -10:26 PM

Today, it was sci paper. ok like wadeva. my life isnt so interesting and stuff, so ill just share some.

Firstly, i got scratched.

Looked something lika X ). I found this kinda cool =X.

Our class had this glass which broke, so we continued hitting it since we had to pay. Hah, look into the glass.

always waiting. -10:16 PM

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Heh, flunk history. and ive started on workouts AGN. wonder how long ill last this time.

Hah my last post was wrong. I dun HATE klinsmann. I just look down on him. Not becuz hes a gay, but becuz he doesnt dare to face reality. yeah. Just had a little memory mixup...

always waiting. -8:41 PM

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I've learnt to face reality, I've chosen to be a good role model student, but its just for your eyes.
I've learnt to submit to fate, I've learnt to do, not ask. Becuz thts life.

And if any of u reading this knws klinsmann, i hate him. i used to not knw why. i forgave him time and time over agn. Now i knw why.

He doesnt dare to face reality. And he makes it seem like its others' faults. Why? he doesnt like the person, he wont LOOK or even take him as HES THR. And he was in the wrong, i forgave him, he still can laugh laugh. and now i just found out tht he hates me and doesnt wan to see me. like wtf?

I thought i saw the world for a long time. but ive just began to understand. maybe, many years down later, i will find i havent even understood a single thing.

And, ive gotta thank everyone beside me, be it family or frens, theyre the one tht gives me small joys, big joys, small hates, big hates, tht distract me away, from the cruelty.

always waiting. -7:49 PM

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Ok so ive finally blogged, agn. Ytd, went visiting my, dunno who (LOL) and thn we played bj. I lost $19+++ damn sad. Pretty much the main hit, didnt do anything else much. This post like post for fun , maybe just a lil bored or smth.

I'd want you in my arms, but that's just too much to hope, pray or wish for.
Why ask, when you already have the answer?

Sometimes, when i feel like saying something, it feels like its too common, and a million other things come to mind, just making me wanna say, I stare at the sky, with a thousand thoughts rushin thru.

As for what those thoughts are, U have no idea. Neither do I.

always waiting. -5:26 PM

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I just confined my blog to myself. Wads the point...

Just watched a rerun of HSM 3. Man, life's too perfect. I've learnt something. And from that, I no longer seek happiness, fun, joy. Not because I'm crazy, but becuz of what happens whn it ends. It tears, my heart. Sitting thr, staring, not being able to do anything, id rather not have it.

I've subjected to fate. (Now a days, I've just been using words I have no idea where they go.) Self - centered? Don't think so. I no longer give a flying ****.

Currently stuck in between a model student, and... well, following the newest stereotype. I've been thinking for awhile, getting a good wax, tinting my hair, getting a piercing. But thn agn, these are deemed as "inappropriate". Some might say," yeah who cares", some might say,"of cuz, u shld follow thm". Thts exactly whr i am, in the middle of both. Worsening situations, being nominated for student council. How will i survive now, just sdtuck aimlessly in between....

always waiting. -10:50 PM

Friday, February 12, 2010

Its NYE tmrw. Was supposed to go back to sch today. My teacher fell sick. If my prediction is correct, Id probably just lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I'll probably think of something but Im most probably nt gonna let u knw wad tht thing is either. So, I guess I've no life left.

always waiting. -12:54 PM

Havent blogged in awhile. Too f-ing lazy to change skin. Somehow, pink no longer appeals to me. I've just found out a few pointers:

It has become a new trend.

Some cute people have no idea what love is. :) Or at least, what true love is. :)

I know wrong from right. But unlike people, even though I have no idea why, I'm trying to go the other way.

2E1 sucks. Cant believe i said tht... (Yes, Im a member of 2E1, I suck as a whole with thm. Too bad some ppl dun tink so, or giv a fck about it.)

Ive been acing my studies. Except chinese. Of course. Tmrw is cheer day, shall i take a vid of humiliation?

We've gt some guailan jrs in 1E1. Gonna fix thm one day. As usual, another destructive class.

always waiting. -12:12 AM

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What now.

always waiting. -5:48 PM

Sunday, February 7, 2010

There are some things, one just cant share. Somethings that may drain you, kill you, traumatise you, hurt u, but u just cant do anything about it. I'll just have to spend the afternoon crying it out on the rooftop. Hopefully, I'll feel better. Can't reach anyone now. One probably sleeping, the other, backstabber, the rest, "sorry, I can't". It scary, I cant do no nothing. I've learnt, to follow the rules, and not follow the truth. Following what is said to be right, and not following what is right. That's no doubt, the world.

I've shed a tear into the ocean. The day I find it, is the day I've given up on life, and have stopped loving anyone.

always waiting. -12:30 PM

Friday, February 5, 2010

I havent blogged for awhile. So many things I want to do, and that longing got back to me. I thought I could control it, but, yeah. I was wrong. I feel competition, but then again, I'm not even running. They're halfway there already. Should I start? Idk. It seems, like I'm running backwards. So tired now. Maple's draining me. Skipped Art today. I feel, dead. Too many things I want to do.

Creating a pserver AGAIN,
Finish my spellpack Jumper,
Finish Avaleirra's heroes,
Code a simple, yet complicated javascript page,
Maple level 81, and scarlion,
Create an image for ID on DA,
Update my guide for AA,
Add in video tutorial to my math guide and advert.
Train for napha, basketball.

Haizzzya.

always waiting. -7:55 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

the forgotten memories.

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
March 2012
May 2014
June 2015

the music in my veins.

the roads that lead away.

ahhDOR GWPS/ADSS

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