|| left alone. *||

Friday, October 31, 2008

Songs fanatic lol

Welll, I picked out a few of my favourite songs last night. Currently. there are No promises, Scream from High School Musical 3, and Thank you. Anyway, I can't remember whether I mention already or not, but my dad bought a dog for me, and another one for my sis, both same breed, but mine is older by a week. They're both younger than a month. Erm... So, Going to the LAN shop later.... So, cutting this off short, going to put more songs in, yeah? ok that's it fro now.

always waiting. -1:30 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hatred...

Well, while I was blogging my Is it a crime? topic, I was called to go and read my bible. As I read, she went to bathe, not knowing what I was doing, of course. And then she came out. She sat there, I answered back a few times at what she said to me and then she ask me not to "talk back". So I literally did not talk back, I only nodded my head. But I realised I couldn't. I felt so wrong, it was so obvious that she was wrong. She asked me to pray before reading, already done, and got angry when I didn't reply. She thought I was angry. I just nodded at whatever she said, and do it. She kept saying I was angry, and so on, and then she got really angry, and she scolded my loud and said I was tearing bacause she asked me to re-read some stuff. I told her I was not and she got angrier even when I told her the truth. I'm trying to listen to her. And she gets angry. I really want to take back what I said previously about parent's love is the greatest. She is purely unreasonable. Sometiems, I know, she is a strong believer, a holy person, but she doesn't understand it properly and says, must read the verse out loud, so satan can hear, that you are protected, so on, so that he will run away, and also must joint together, your onself one can anytime read/pray. And she forces us to follow, gets angry when we don't. Just how to live with someone like that, You're trying your best to follow what she says but she is getting so angry over you. Because you are trying to listen to her. Logical? Nope. So, tell me. What you do? Shout at her? And then she threaten to kill herself in front of us. Or else she will shout very loud, E.g. Don't want to read throw away lah! So you want to read or not?. So you just tell me, she shouted that phrase out, will you say no, even how wrong she is?... Why is it so unfair? I just wanna know.

always waiting. -11:57 PM

(Topicless)

I just finished my Is it a crime? topic. And I brought it up to the so called, headlines of my blog. Anyway, I just want to say, DotA got me really addicted these few days, and I trained on two characters, following guides. So, any challenges? Download and get into Garena and have a head-on match with me in DotA. You will get to feel the wrath of Mirana, priestess of the moon, or Gondar, Bounty Hunter.

always waiting. -11:56 PM

Part 2:Is It a Crime?

Written on 6/9/2008

That was what I felt at first, of course. But after they all left, he talked to me, tried his best to help me, fulfilling my needs. Althought it was too late, I started thinking not only about myself. I know they wanted to help, but I just want to say that hoe they're helping me is what I don't like but I know when I said that his mum was hurt. I really want to apologise to her, just didn't have the right time to do so. I know they care for me. I even remembered when I wanted to say, don't care about me, during life and death situations, you can choose to help me or bring up what I said and don't help me, I won't blame you. So this time, I wanna say thanks and sorry even though I don't like how you're helping me, but I know you want to help.

always waiting. -11:55 PM

Part1: Is it a crime?

Written on 6/9/2008

Is being shy, or pai seh a crime? So sever that not a single !@#$%^&*()_+ chance is given? Of course it was given, after it was over that is. So what's the use? It was too late already, and you had to sadden me more.

It happened awhile ago... The feelings aren't the same... But I'll give you an idea about how it went.. I finished playing my computer that evening, went to have dinner at some place.. Looking forward to some great fun... With This guy, currently called A. A and his friends were already playing when I got there... I had my dinner and sat on the sofa as I waited for them to play with me. I waited, they finished and then ate a long dinner. They were finally ready, and I was like YAY!(Or so I thought) and then I wanted to play. But lol, due to my shyness, anti-socialness, whatever, and I didn't dare to. But the reaction was, instead of like asking me properly, or comforting me, after all tehy're big, scary people, he said if you're shy or pai seh, don't play.If you're not, come and play. Hearing that, I just went angry at him and I said my head of course, yes I'm shy, I'm not allowed to play! And he went off, No chance. They continued playing happily, the second round.I sat in the kitchen, away from there, continuosly drinking a cup of water.As I just thought and though in my head, A's mum tried to help me, the wrong way.He did nothing wrong at all, at least that's what I told her. Then she told me, in fact threaten, that I either tell her what was wrong or she wull go and scold him for no apparent reason. I kept silent and she went out to confront him. Feeling worst, I ran into the toilet and hid there. They had a big talk, or fight, and I felt it was my fault. Now I don't even dare to walk out, or face them anymore. All thanks to his mum. Not only that, he then came in thinking that I asked his mum to scold him, and said hurtful words on the 2nd choice, like are you ____ and ___ or are you ___ and ___?, forcing me to choose the first choice, as if I'm a kid and would fall for that and at a ten minutes countdown to my existence at his house. I hated him for like threatening me, so I chose the second option several times and I asked him to go and enjoy himself and I didn't want to and to leave me alone. I stayed there crying with my head facing down on the table. They all started to leave at 10. Then one of his friends asked him a question I'm not sure of what it was, but he said I always like that. Then his friend asked him another question and he said not once, but many times. I'm sure he wanted me to be like that all the time, right? Because if he didn't he wouldn't say such hurtful things that I would be forever like that. He even thought I was trying to get attention and want people to pity me, but what I wanted most, was for all of them to leave me alone!
What I meant by that, was that you guys are making it worse by what you think is helping. I'm no longer a kid, I stand up for my rights now.
And you guys, are helping the wrong way.

always waiting. -11:16 PM

4th day in Thailand and many other topics

Been busy play DotA the last few days, no time blog haha. Of course, Thailand is not so bad now, because there is a computer to let me play, make games and so on but if I have the choice, I would rather be in SG. Few days before going to Thailand, I was playing La Tale and Final Fantasy 7 Crisis Core but.. La tale seems so lame now, and the psp, I brought to Thailand, had no charger, because it was some how lost during the flight, or I forgot to bring it. Anyway, I just wanna bring the topic back to the "Talk back" topic. I realised, that not only children do it. My mum always says why do I keep talking back, thinking I am always right. But when they say that, they think they are right too. Well. Today, on the car trip to Fashion Island, obviously a place in Thailand, My father brought back the topic to I need a cup. You remember? Nevermind if you don't. Well there is a thai phrase An ni le khrap/Khar? It sounds like I need a cup/car. The khar/Khrap is dependent on whether you are a girl/boy. Girls say Khar and boys say Khrap at the end of their sentences. So, my father said, girls always spend more than boys. Girls say I need a car, while boys say I need a cup. Get it? Anyway, based on the most knowned scientist, mathematician, professor, whatever, Daryl Lim Yong Sheng's theory, 80% of women spend more than men. 80% of that 20% are poor, thus spending less. And 80% or that 20% are tomboys. Lol.You know sometiems when my mother ask me to do this, I'll go do it. But before that, my father would ask me to do something else first. So I'll go do that. But before I can do that, my mum ask me go do other thing first. And then my father.. and so on. You know what's the best solution? Bring them together, and let them argue. You're innocent afterall. Lol :)

Do you guys know what is the most destructive thing, at least I think? Children, babies.
Comments: Why? They're so cute, so lovely, how can you say that?
Its ok if they are good, obedient. But what if, they are naughty, they love to whack people, they think they rule the world, they want everything that they ask for, then they start whacking you. You can't fight back, you can't scold, if they're not your children. You can't teach them, they call you names, you can't DO ANYTHING. AND YOU SIT THERE WATCHING THEM CONTINUE. GETTING BOLDER EVERYTIME. AND THEY CRY IF THEY'RE NOT HAPPY. IF THE PARENTS ARE SMALL AIR(chinese), THEN THEY SCOLD YOU. Hell that.

Before I came to Thailand, I had to choose between my friends, SG and my father, Thailand. But when I made my decision to be SG, I realise I don't have the choice, my motehr does what she thinks is right. Sometimes, they just jump to conclusion, you try to tell them they're wrong, they scold you more, when they reach home and they don't knoiw anything, they just randomly say and say...

Back to movie fanatic!
Lets talk about the 2 police shows, one continued after the other, normally channel U or Channel 55. About 2 friends, that are constantly quarrelling, they teach good things, but this happened awhile ago, so I can't quite remember. Anyway, they learn from their mistakes and know what team spirit really is.

Lets talk about Fearless now. It is shown on channel 62, for your information. Its about this guy, from young has always wanted to learn Kung Fu from his father. But his father was a good guy, that is humble, and when fighting, doesn't want to win if it would kill someone. And he is always looked down because he always lost when he gave chance to his opponent. But his son, thinking that his father was not strong enough, don't have the heart to win, he strived on himself to become the world's best fighter. He swore never to lose again in a fight. Until alot has passed, his mother told him respect comes when you do the right things, not when you make others respect you, I don't know how to say. But until he killed someone, and that person's son killed his family. He was so angry he wanted to kill their whole family, but when he looked at his wife and son, just like his own's, he thought hard about it, and then he went away. A few years later he was found on some shore to some countryside. They were those cheerful kids, humble people, living in peace. They taught him alot, that each human needed their own space. When he first came to this place, all he wanted to o was win and win, but over time a blind girl changed him. After that he went back. He got respect, through respect. He became like his father, an honourable fighter. Later came a challenge from the other countrys. They cheated by poisoning him before the fight against them. The japanese fighter did not follow them, after he knew that they poisoned him. Fearless did a move that killed the previous guy, you know, the father of the son that killd his family? But he did not hit him, and he fell to the ground. The japanese fighter knew he lost, he declared Fearless the winner, and went away. You should watch the show.

You know sometimes the behaviour of my friends, I just look outside, parents don't really know their kids, what they do, think. Many parents think they know their child/children all too well. But how they are, they don't even know.

I wanna bring this back, that the lord is always helping me, accompanying me everytime I feel lonely, that he would make it smoothe no matter how difficult life is. And I can maintain it thus far, giving me the brain power, healing me when I'm hurt. That is how I came about, the son of Jesus Christ.

I'm changing topic alot, because there are many toopics I kept in my head, phone, books over the year. My cousin, Shenando, Awrakso( WoW ID), Dave, many many names, is getting married some time around March next year. Haha, I have respect for him, even sometimes, I find that he is wrong. But , you know, He is great. Haha, a role model? I guess? He is a responsible person, really responsible. And he teaches me that. But I realise the world, now, is like taking most things as a joke. And playing fool of everything... You know....

Anyway, you know after church, sometimes I'll go home alone, and during the long ride, I would take a nap. And the record that I had, past my house in Admiralty station, was Yio Chu Kang, 5 stops away I think. Lol.

Parent's love is the greatest before God's love. I still think so. No matter hw wrong they are, they always try to help you, no matter the right way or not. They will never be bad to you no matter how angry. Bad doesn't mean scolding or hitting. Of course there are some parents. That don't love their children I agree. But those are 5% of the world.

Ok I'mma gonna stop now, very long liao... Ok, bye.

always waiting. -10:18 PM

Friday, October 24, 2008

Im back again...

You know, Today is the last day, before a very long, lonely life at Thailand, with my parents. The last day at school, last day with my friends, last day of enjoyment at school. No one to play basketball. Only have the computer as my friend. Thailand is getting so boring. Thailand, no longer as a holiday, but a second home, a home, like in singapore, only that there are no friends, good friends, to hang out, play basketball with. And PSLE is over. Im gonna miss some of my once-in-a-lifetime events in school, because my mother wants to take part in a YEARLY thingy. I know, it is important, but there is a chance again? Im missing school events, p6 hangout, which will be gone when sec school comes. And I have to spend it at Thailand. To tell the truth, I Really don't like to go there anymore, its going to be so boring, and, I'm really gonna miss, my friends, and I can't spend extra time with them. Why? I hate life to the core. I even thought of suiciding, bit I know I can't, afraid and also with the huge hopes pinned on me. I don't want to live a life with super good results, I want to live a happy life, and this is not happy. Let's just talk about something that is pretty obvious?

Talking back
_________
You know the all time favourite, Don't talk back and just do! Parents. Let's just talk more about it. Firstly, let's see why children take the time to "talk back". Firstly, Its pretty obvious we think the other party might be wrong, so we talk about it. If its questioning, then we talk back to explain, or to explain why we think we are not wrong. But sometimes before you can finish, your parents will, "Don't talk back!" And then leaving you kept inside and you stop. But whether that person is wrong or not, who knows? If that person is right, good for him/her but if him/her is wrong? The person know that will work and keep doing it, thus not knowing he/herself is wrong. Acceptable? I don't see why children don't have the right to argue, it is because the person has another point of view. If you stop that person, that person won't ever know why he's wrong, or if he is right, he will think he is wrong... and so on.

Finsihed that topic. Anyway, I just came back after packing my stuff to go Thailand and also my old books and papers. I throwed away lots of items, the memory of the joy, shared in drawings and writings, remember when I was young and happy. Life changes, or perhaps people change. So many memories... And I recently started excessive gaming on DotA, Defence of the Ancients. I thought I was ok when playing with my cousins and so on. But when I went online and played with others, I got scolded and cursed at. So I read up a guide and practised alot, I'm probably much better, now. But those scoldings and cursing weren't too bad after all. It helped me. Its how you look at it. If you want to look at it that way, it will be that way in you. This evening at 7, I went to watch High School Musical 3 with my friends, a nice show.( When did I ever say shows are lousy? Lol, only one, German Shepard because I can't unerstand it. But its probably a good show.) And then, yeah, I think my primary 6 life is something like HSM3. So sad... So... Unpartable BUT only worse than HSM3. I can't spend time with my friends before we part. I can't even attend the Primary 6 graduation concert/party/event. So.... Well..................... I can't even play my DotA properly, because it can't be paused and well, its like 45minutes. And I always get interrupted, and then scolded by because I tell them I was in the middle of something and told them to hurry. This afternoon, I was playing yet another game. Then my mum called me to go to MRT. As usual, she always asked me to do things by myself, must do work. So I went, and then I told her I was in the middle of something that can't be paused. Then she told me I could've called my maid instead( Something so opposite) and she blamed me for not calling. Then she took her own sweet time. And when I got back, The game ended. Yay? Anyway, I signing off liao... Erm.. bye...

always waiting. -9:58 PM

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

NigaHiga / Move Fanatic?

Yo yo, I'm back, again, after a long while. Not gonna make my server anytime soon, sick of it, so instead, I'm learning javascript editing and also some flash making, pretty successful. Oh yeah, PSLE is over and damn ... high? Keep watching movie. This Friday gonna watch High School Musical 3 with some of my friends. Yeah, Anyway, there's this cool asian japanese dude, He's erm... Nigahiga? He's real name is Ryan higa, yeah and he has some friends... making videos on Youtube, like how to be gangster, emo, nerd... and much more. So, have time? Get to youtube and search Nigahiga, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Hehe... Oh so, I'm lazy lah....................... Super lazy... These days. Lazy to do blogging. Focusing on this soon when I get to Thailand probably on 27th of October. Ok, that's about it, good bye.

always waiting. -2:12 PM

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Everything, overlooked in one go.

hehheh, Yo. Once again... PSLE is left with 3 days more, pressure is building and, studying like zombies given no rewards has just begun, people that treat people like slaves, do work, and then no reward... I just get confiscated of psp and computer. Yeah, of course lah never study! But so what if I study? You got see? No? So study for what, people say never study, oh well. Then even if see. Oh good loh, study more. Oh, get 250 for psle? Oh good, good. And walk off. Study until going to die, walk past, oh study so hard arh? Good good, but if never study !@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like that loh. So, What's the point? If this happens, I'd rather fil PSLE and retake, after all, WHO CARES? Even if the people who care, can't do anything. Enough of the hateful PSLE, where everyone don't care.
____________________________________________________________________
Lifeless
____________________________________________________________________
Everything is clear, but unclear, confused but unconfused, undecisive but decisive, tired but restless.

What lies ahead, is what we have made.
Tearror and death, was what we laid.
In us lies sorrow, which fills tomorrow.
What is left in the holes, are we who have been drained of souls.
Are you still keeping, to this place of wretched reapings?
Do you try to live, on this lifeless reef?
Do you fly high, to a place that abhors you and I?
What about dreams and honor? Found only in the darkest corner.
Sadness and anger fills the heart, captured is the soul with a cut.
My friend, till we meet again.
And when you see me smiling, think again.
____________________________________________________________________

Is it an eternal, evil, scheme, or crime to cry or feel sad? My mother got so angry, I regretted even sobbing, she was as if she was out to kill. BECAUSE I SOBBED. People always TRY to help.... But they ALWAYS fail to do so, instead harm they did. If you want someone to share their thoughts or feelings with you, they do so, and if looks could kill, that person would have withered there and then after you reprimanding them. Will they dare ever to share their thoughts again? If they do, scoldingf is what they receive. If they don't , the reward is the same. Where is the pressure, as I said. It comes from the person, who sets the high goals. Pressure leads to anxiety, leads to blankness during exams, and ultimately to failure. And then, to scoldings. Amazing theory? Oh well. And can't even do things properly. It is so hard to say. They help wrongly and so on. This happens to a Gazillion people..

My friend, Why do we live in this wretched place, a test before life?
Where people pursue mortal need and attempt to help, but fails and gets angry?
Where justice is only thought to exist?
Where dreams and honor is given only to the lucky?
Many stories, legends about people striving so hard, to mke first, and achieved it through sheer hard work, but what about those failures out there, who believed in this and failed? Hidden in the shadows so that people will be tricked?
Why do you live, my friend, with people sometimes caring, loving and kind, with cloths over their evilness, harmfulness, and destructiveness?
People with both positive and negative?
What is love, caring and sharing joy?
What about hate, revenge for something unfair against you?
What is LOVELESS, The opposite of love?
Can you explain what life is?
Remembering one bad over ten good, that is human's nature in humans, you and I. And doing it even though you are aware?
The World is so confusing, neither you nor I can live.
This is never kind, Joy is temporary.
Human, what different are their acts from monsters and abominations, only worse are we?
People only look at the small part... WHAT ABOUT THE REST?!?
WHY DON'T PEOPLE BLOODY LOOK AROUND?!
WHY DOES THINGS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?
CREATINGTRUE BONDS WITH PEOPLE AND THEN PAINFULLY SEPARATED?
IT DID'NT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. WHO CAUSED IT?

And yeah... PSLE is only tomorrow. English is long over. What am I doing here, at the computer? At 9pm+ close to 10PM? Because I'm sick of life, and I can't wait to share what I feel. This wretched place.

always waiting. -9:39 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

the forgotten memories.

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
March 2012
May 2014
June 2015

the music in my veins.

the roads that lead away.

ahhDOR GWPS/ADSS

Anthony Old Friend GWPS

Atiqah ADSS

BeiLin GWPS/Nanyang Girls

Claudia GWPS

Constance GWPS

Constance(Private) GWPS

Dewi ADSS

a,b,c

Felicia Mei SCSS

d,e,f

Germaine ????

Gillian GWPS

Haris GWPS

Heng Yee GWPS/Cedar Girls

HongWei Di GWPS/Catholic High

Hong Wei's Bro GWPS

g,h,i

Jaspreet GWPS/BPGHS

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Javis ADSS

Li Ling Mei GWPS/River Valley

j,k,l

Marcus ADSS

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Melissa Mei Evergreen?/ADSS

My class' blog GWPS

My class' Blog(old) ADSS

My class' Blog/Forum(new) ADSS

My other blog

My server's forum

Nanzhen Kor Cousin

Nicole Zi nu(lol) ADSS

m,n,o

Putra Syafiq GWPS/BPGHS

Rachel GWPS/Nanyang Girls

Rachel ADSS

p,q,r

Sabrina GWPS

Selene ADSS

ShuHao ADSS

Steffi GWPS/?

Story Blog Kaltra - The Lone Walker

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This blog GWPS/ADSS

TingTing ADSS

s,t,u

Wei Han ADSS

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Willy ADSS

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v,w,x

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y,z

1E2'09 ADSS

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