|| left alone. *||

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Another dreaded day that was to come, but nver wanted. Another dead quarrel whr i end up losing painfully. losing a war tht was nver fair. losing a war, which thr was no chance at all. no chance at all to win. She made the rules.

So she screamed at me agn. I mean, its very obvious i was right, and she was wrong. Dun make me state how, like ive done all my life. dun feel like it. dun feel like re-enactin the scene. She screamed at me. so i gt angry, duh like everyone else would. and as usual i stopped at the very last moment before she started taking choppers and cutting through the door and screaming till the whole building was wide awake. She thought i was defiant. She thought i was wrong. She thought im ill bred becuz i talk back. Communication, is a 2 way thing. i talk u respond, u talk i respond. wtf is talking back so fcking wrong. k. how am i gonna live with a person tht deems an innocent person guilty becuz she herself is guilty. The best part, SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW! :D

And as usual, this isnt the first time. I've posted it, people have read it. What does it change? nothing. So who will motherfucking tell her? WHO? Who will tell her to get a life and treat her son betta thn a dog. She'd rather pamper a dog even if its wrong thn to pamper me whn im right. wtfx10.

All my life, ppl have been telling me nt to bottle up. Never to bottle up. share it with someone close, and ride thru the tides tgt. In hope of surviving the next day. But if i do it, and my own mum, my very own mum, tell her wad i feel, and i get screamed at. wooo yay daryl. nice job thr. now fuck off. and leave me alone.

always waiting. -8:49 PM

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

And for the nice guy I am, no matter how harsh the words I may speak, my heart softens and somehow brings me back. For the nice guy I am, for the one who had put faith in the Lord and has been redeemed by him, sinning and running away seems so hard, Because good works are a result of redemption. And the Lord has heard your prayer, has heard mine, and sent help to you through me.

always waiting. -9:16 PM

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Today's sermon was awesome. It did got me thinking somehow. It did help me understand stuff much more. But i tink some others nid it much more thn me. I was a nice guy. I tried not to be one. I didnt feel like it. But maybe my dad was just, too good a person. I just couldnt. I had a heart. I thought I was mature. But right now, i dun really understand the actual meaning of it. I understand the big picture, I know what to do. But I dont wanna do it. Is tht immature?

Maybe it was my childhood. Maybe, just maybe. Maybe i had some lack of love or smth. But the past seems distant now. I've realised im very reliant on myself. Very independent. I'll attempt to face my problems alone. Yes I do need help, only from 1 person. He's given me the love I never knew. He's been my pillar, that never falls. That's probably what got me surviving, thriving, pushing, attempting to outdo myself. Maybe, maybe it was making me stronger. Or is it a sign of RAT? I doubt so.

I do realise, I felt lonely. Msybe just thoughts whirling about when I'm at the playground under the pouring rain. Maybe just dazing, gazing at the stars on the beach. Alone. I felt lonely. But I've made up my mind. I'm not gonna do it anymore. I wanna be alone.

always waiting. -2:32 PM

Saturday, May 1, 2010

LOL

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
The most funniest thing happened to me today. But ill keep it from YOU for awhile. Ytd was fun, school-ed, exams, probably get a really fail score, thn library-ed, thn homed, thn concerted, thn home, thn bed, thn comp all the way... Yeah and see this really funny thing tht happened was...

I kinda lost my wallet. Thn whn i got it back, i checked wad was missin. some money. AND MY ATM CARD. So I called up the thingy and canceleld my card. Ltr tht night, my mum called. She said she tried using my atm card to withdraw money but it failed. And i just fell on the ground laughing. If u dun get it, nvm. i dun care.

always waiting. -9:10 PM

the one who waits.

Name:Sky
Bday:05/01

and they say

the forgotten memories.

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